What can one learn from a New York Times obituary writer about living? 

“[Writing obituaries] does give one a carpe diem sense… One of my colleagues had a man who was eaten by a crocodile. And he was a naturalist going down a river; crocodile just leapt up and grabbed him. It’s a pretty horrific way to go. 

But for me, it became a kind of metaphor. You never know, as you go through life, whether or not that crocodile is around the next bend in the river. So you might as well try to live as good a life as you can and enjoy the hell out of life before you get to that crocodile.”

And…

“What in life is underrated? Silence. Stillness. Reading real books on paper…

Having real human contact rather than the social media that’s become, in our atomized postmodern lives, a substitute for real contact.” 

These words of wisdom are from Margalit Fox while being interviewed by Tyler Cowen. You may also know Fox from the brilliant documentary, Obit (a favorite of mine).

Margalit Fox is what I call a Mortality Mentor. A Mortality Mentor someone who faces the reality of life, every day, like Margalit does through her work as an obituary writer. Being a Mortality Mentor is not someone who does not fear death. That is normal and healthy. Elsewhere in the interview, Margalit says, “what I’ve learned [from writing obits] is, death sucks. But I think I pretty much knew that before, and I think you pretty much know that, too.” Yet, as her words above (and below) clearly convey, she has the unique ability to impart wisdom for the rest of us mortals who do not confront the inevitability of life, every day. I want to think we can learn a lot from Mortality Mentors, like Margalit. But, perhaps, more significant than hearing her words, it is better to heed her advice by having real human contact, if possible, with people who are living as if the crocodile is around the next bend in the river.

After all…

“When you’re writing about someone fascinating who did something really interesting, often really wonderful, maybe a sentence or two will be about the death. The other 98 percent of the story is about the life.”

References

“Margalit Fox.” Conversations with Tyler, conversationswithtyler.com/episodes/margalit-fox/.